Enter the Panda

Panda Express: “You may not leave full, but you won’t leave hungry!”

Six brave men faced the Panda today. Their heat-lamped delicacies claimed three victims. A fourth is missing, presumed fed.

But man, Orange Chicken. We’re still not convinced there’s any meat in it, guessing rather that it may be just some Fried fried. I’d order more people to their doom in order to investigate but we’re running low on intrepid investigators. Besides, I can’t even order online groceries, let alone people.

To think one of the jobs I turned down was directly above a Chipotle! I wonder if I could have set up some sort of direct pre-tax burrito spending plan…